Illustration Friday: Monster

There have been about as many theories about why socks go missing after laundering as there are creation myths, so I thought I would take this opportunity to illustrate what really happens: you are being visited by the dryer monster.

Now, the dryer monster is only interested in socks, and prefers singles to pairs. Its tongue is quite swift, like the wings of a hummingbird, and for this reason goes undetected.

What does it look like? From all eye-witness accounts it might actually be just a giant tongue. The light bulb, pictured above, could probably tell us more if only it spoke in terms we understood.

Some conspiracy theorists have argued that the dryer monster is actually hired by dryer manufacturers to eat socks, and the sock companies, in turn, give the dryer companies kickbacks from increased sales.

I'd like to end on a more serious, practical note. A while ago I learned a great tip from some lifestyle mag about a surefire way of keeping pairs of socks together after laundering: safety-pin your socks together when you throw them in the hamper. Safety pin, you've done it again!