Illustration Friday: Monster

There have been about as many theories about why socks go missing after laundering as there are creation myths, so I thought I would take this opportunity to illustrate what really happens: you are being visited by the dryer monster.

Now, the dryer monster is only interested in socks, and prefers singles to pairs. Its tongue is quite swift, like the wings of a hummingbird, and for this reason goes undetected.

What does it look like? From all eye-witness accounts it might actually be just a giant tongue. The light bulb, pictured above, could probably tell us more if only it spoke in terms we understood.

Some conspiracy theorists have argued that the dryer monster is actually hired by dryer manufacturers to eat socks, and the sock companies, in turn, give the dryer companies kickbacks from increased sales.

I'd like to end on a more serious, practical note. A while ago I learned a great tip from some lifestyle mag about a surefire way of keeping pairs of socks together after laundering: safety-pin your socks together when you throw them in the hamper. Safety pin, you've done it again!

Illustration Friday: Feet

Alas, there are many highs and lows to being tall. Some of the highs are a competitive edge in basketball and reaching the top shelf of those towering kitchen cupboards. One of the lows, pictured above, is shoe shopping. All the trendy shops seem to use 12 as a cutoff size, while I'm pushing a 15.

This drawing actually happened to me yesterday in trendy Queen West in Toronto (but I was wearing socks). I'm seriously considering becoming the Cobbler of Cool after this latest incident, with sizes ranging from Tiny Tim to Shaq. Stay tuned (and stay trendy)...

Illustration Friday: Insect

Insects are beautiful things, but I'll forever be haunted by the earwig. A permanent fixture in campground shower stalls from coast to coast, not to mention many classy urban dwellings, the earwig has proven adaptable to the changing times. The leaf seen above is no more precious to the earwig than the drain in the bathtub.

I think the reason I'm so haunted by earwigs is because of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Almost everyone I've run into remembers the scene in this film where they put bugs in a person's ears. Terryfying!

Traumatized.
Didn't sleep for weeks.

And the smacker is that earwigs bear a striking resemblance to those things from Wrath of Khan (I dubbed them "Goochies" in my impressionable young mind). It doesn't help that the word "ear" is in earwig. In addition, those nasty pincer things mother nature gave earwigs don't endear me to them either.

In closing, I thought I would share with you my first sketch of an earwig. It was not quite as successful, although it does swivel its hips.

Illustration Friday: Tea

Hot beverages are a big part of life, particularly in the chilly months, but they can also be a great source of conflict, as seen in the recent Hot Bevvy Olympics, pictured above.

This year, a new Gold Medalist emerged. As you can see from the illustration above, Tea has taken my number 1 spot as favourite hot drink. Coffee, last year's favourite, is sulking and is in denial (he is the crudimentary coffee bean, #2). Rounding off these Bevvy Olympians is Hot Chocolate, who is this year's poster child for belligerent. A false sense of security was given to Hot Chocolate when he won year after year in childhood. But when something stronger was needed, he was cast aside with He-mans and Garbage Pail Kids cards. But we still love you, Hot Chocolate...you just have to sit at the kid's table.